When it comes to stressing and over thinking I am the worst. I tend to accumulate and take on far more than I should. I didn’t realize until last year how long I have been riding this moving ferris wheel of stress. I go through a shedding process in order to breath and at some point not even realizing it, I take a u-turn and start to accumulate all over again. What dawned on me last year is how much stress comes along with the upside of the ferris wheel.
About six years ago life threw me some really hard speed bumps. I ended up loosing everything I had worked my adult life for. Despite having to file bankruptcy, foreclosing on a house and loosing or having to sell almost all my belongings, there was this bizarre feeling of freedom that came with shedding some of the bulk. I am in no way saying I enjoyed going through that experience, it was truly humiliating. But it did teach me the more I have the heavier I feel. Since that experience I have yet to accumulate as much as I had back then but at times have allowed myself to get to a point of heaviness. I don’t know if the adopting of physical items is an attempt to fill a void or is the drug of choice for the moment. I am sure it could be a good mixture of both.
I have found it is not just the accumulation of physical belongings that adds to the heavy load which causes stress. When your job goes from tasks which you can effectively complete and you can be a positive asset to your employer to the point your plate is so full things are falling off. Don’t get me wrong the fact that my past employers trusted me to get the job done and to assign additional responsibilities is a huge compliment. But the huge downside is once you open those doors it seems like the flood starts and the water gets deep. This creates an addition heaviness in life.
Every day I am making the choice to leave work at work. Dedicating my time outside of work to rediscover and develop hobbies rather than thinking about or sneaking in more work. Repeating to myself regularly there is only eight hours in the work day and in that time frame you can only do so much.
I am on a minimalism mission and a mission to gain life long freedom and a lighter life. I chose to start with the easiest…..stuff. Going room by room, if it has not been used in the last 6 months it was donated to a thrift shop. The first downsize equaled five car loads donated and in a few months there is another downsize on the calendar. The decision was made to downsize from renting a house to renting a small apartment, which will cut my rent and utilizes in half. This will allow me to put more towards becoming debt free. I have also purchased a vintage trailer which I am glamping up so I can escape and create more life experiences….this girl is going to take her “glamper” and challenge her fears.